07 Jun

3 weeks, 3 days

I’ve had 2 positive tests and, as of today, I have officially missed my period in its entirety. 

But that isn’t really what I want to document here. I want you to know how I feel in this very early and still uncertain stage.

There have been close-calls in the past but none as sure as this one. I’ve never had a positive test before! Just a sketchy feeling, an intense hope, a deep desire. That feeling is still present but there’s also a totally missed period and tests backing it up. 

I am elated. I am seriously beyond excited. I cannot fathom my future and for once, that uncertainty is a nice feeling. It’s not dreadful… Just expectant. Which is to be expected when you’re expecting. I am so focused on what’s going on inside of me that the bad things going on around me don’t matter so much. The negativity no longer matters. 

I can’t wait to meet this person! I hope this little buddy sticks around. 3 weeks isn’t very far along and I’m fully aware that many things can go wrong but I’m also aware that more often than not, those things don’t happen! I’m planning for a full term, healthy baby to be born in February. 

Due date calculators put baby due in the first week of February. I haven’t yet seen a doctor (but I have an appointment scheduled next week) but I feel the date is a little later than that. A second or third week of February date seems more accurate but we’ll see. 

In the meantime, I have a few symptoms to report: Breast tenderness has been rampant for the last week. They aren’t just sore – they also feel like there’s scalding, twitchy fibers running through them from the nipple inwards. I’m also sooooo fatigued. Though I did have a wonky sleep schedule over the weekend so that could do it. Lastly, as of today, nausea. I’m munching some saltines and water and burping. Ugh. It’s not bad enough to vomit though I did dry heave once but it is causing some righteous vertigo. I guess the vertigo can be its own symptom. 
Official reveals will come in July. I’m planning a little get-together for my mom and will make the official announcement for her then. Sue and Shelly will get their announcements when we are all together for Pierogi Fest at the end of July. It is unbelievably difficult to not tell Shelly and my mom. I kind of tell them everything and turn to them for support and advice. Not having access to them as resources has left me scrambling. I can make it a few more weeks then I can give them the news. … I hope!

That’s pretty much it for now. I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure this little mote of life has the best shot I can give it. Wish me luck!